TV
by dmwcool1
Summary: What happens when the toys try to find something to watch? I think it's funny, but I have a weird sense of humor. One-shot


**Me being silly. Slightly based on a true story. Little something I typed up. I own nothing. Enjoy.**

It sucks to be bored. Especially for the toys of Bonnie's home. The Andersons were out watching a movie with their daughter, so the toys had the household to themselves. Setting the remote in front of them, the playthings were deciding what to watch on T.V.

"Paid programming, paid programming, paid programming…" Hamm announced as Woody surfed through the channels with the tip of his boot.

"Hey wait," Jessie uttered when Woody passed a channel, "go back one." Click. "No, go up." Click. "No, don't have the channel number go up. Make _it_ go up!" Jessie stuck her arm out and swung it upward. "The previous channel!" Click.

"_Well the first thing you know ol' Jed's a millionaire,  
__Kinfolk said Jed move away from there  
__Said Californy is the place you ought to be  
__So they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly."_

"The Beverly Hillbillies is on!" she shouted with glee. Woody groaned and changed the station again.

"Hey, hey! I was watching that!"

"And now you're not," he shot back flatly. Crossing her arms, she let out a loud huff.

"Press the 'guide' button," suggested Buttercup. The cowboy pressed it and a blue screen layout came on.

"Ooo!" shrieked Mrs. Potatohead, snatching the remote from Woody. "'What Not to Wear' !" Everybody simultaneously moaned.

"Gimme that," demanded Mr. Potatohead, "I'll find something." Searching through the guide, he clicked on the Fox Channel. "There you go, a classic!"

"_Bart, with $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!" _

"We aren't watching the Simpsons," Slinky informed, his front half walking over to the remote. He ignored Mr. Potatohead's scowl while his paw pressed the numbers on the keypad and switched it to Animal Channel.

"…_now we are going to hide the treat in our pockets and walk out of the room…"_

"You guys are lucky I'm well trained unlike _these_ dogs," Slinky proudly said, wagging his tail.

"Then play dead," murmured Mr. Potatohead.

"I wanna watch cartoons!" yelled Jessie. Woody turned to her and gave a discerning look.

"You already had your chance," Woody responded, grabbing the remote from Slinky.

"I WANNA WATCH CARTOONS!" shrieked Jessie, sticking out her bottom lip.

"I'm right here, Jessie!" Woody barked, holding his ear. He hugged the remote as she tried to reach for it by climbing over his lap. "You are so immature."

The cowgirl pushed herself off and sat back in her seat. "Are not," she sneered.

"Are to," he replied, giving her a smug look.

"Are not."

"Are to."

"Your annoying."

"_Your _annoying."

"Are not."

"Are to."

"Sadly, this is better than the shows that are on," interjected Hamm. Buzz pried the remote from Woody's hands while Jessie stuck her tongue out at the sheriff.

"Ha! Buzz will find somethin' for me."

"Don't get any ideas, Jessie," Buzz warned, flipping through the channels, "Star Trek should be on right about now…"

"I heard that 'Shakespeare in Love' will be on TNT tonight," added Mr. Pricklepants.

"Please, Buzz" Jessie begged, "Go to Nickelodeon. Spongebob might be playing."

"When is it _not_ playing?" asked Buttercup. Falling for her faux sorrowful emerald eyes, he meekly changed it to Nick.

"_F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me-"_

"N is for any one and anytime at all," sang along Jessie, "Down here in the deep blue sea!"

"Give me that remote," ordered Hamm. Click.

"_I got no respect! I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio._

_*Audience roars with laughter and claps*_

_Hey-oh-heh! *Readjusts red tie*"_

"I don't get it," said Rex.

"You wouldn't," replied Hamm. "Rodney Dangerfield. Funny guy."

"There's got to be something," muttered Woody as he took the remote.

"Put on Boomerang," suggested Dolly, "They have all the oldies."

"Did Jessie make you say that?" questioned Woody, raising an eyebrow. Dolly turned to her and shrugged.

"Sorry cowgirl."

"Hey," Woody said, passing by MTV, "We can watch some music videos music videos…" Click.

"_Oh yeah? Well I &*^%ing hate you! You are &*$ing trash! I hate you and your ^%%! You got nothing without me you ^%$"!_

"_Still wanna go to the club?"_

"_Hell yeah!"_

"I hate Jersey shore," grumbled Chuckles. "Go to channel 4." Click.

"_It has been suspected that the killer has escaped somewhere in Europe but authorities are still on the look out for him…"_

Buzz grimaced. "The news?"

"Good stuff." Click.

"_Cada vez que tenía un níquel para alguien que me dijo era hermoso… _

_Usted sería se rompió_

_*Audience roars with laughter*"_

"Now _that's_ funny!" exclaimed Buzz, chuckling inwardly.

"Why is it funny?" questioned Jessie.

"Oh I thought you knew Spanish…"

"Well," Woody proclaimed, "I guess it's best to just turn off the T.V. because nothing good is- OH! REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA! I haven't seen this one!" The toy cowboy looked at the others and realized he said that statement out loud and tried to cover himself. "Uh…or, uh if you guys _want_ to watch it since, you know, there's nothing else on…"

Knowing that the Andersons weren't going to be back for another two hours, the toys made the best of it and sat through all the 'drama' of this episode. Buzz turned to Woody to ask him a question.

"What is it Buzz?" The space ranger had a puzzled look on his face.

"What are these 'hair weaves' they speak of?"

**Hope you liked it. Comments are appriciated :-)**


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